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My partner and I climbed up the two flights of stairs to Canada’s only Sybian (like, the REAL thing) owner and rental proprietor, located just off of Queen Street West in Toronto.

Wil Mc Lean of Sybian Toronto graciously showed us his place and finally lead us to the sex toy playground where the Sybian itself lay on a clean and soft surface blanket.

While I expected to easily hop on and ride the Sybian to orgasmic oblivion, I instead faced my ego, which harnessed the youthfulness of my unexplored sexuality, holding back any little bit of control it could grasp.

Wil had told me to let go and allow my body to spill over the machine—I was here, I was naked, I had to at least try. Until the sounds coming out of my mouth were ones I had never heard before.

Instead, my partner had just seen me at my most vulnerable as the whole session was about me and my genuine pleasure, there was not a facial expression nor a moan I could hide—nor would I ever want to.