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“And it was right after that that he told me that he had to go.” Sara is a scientist with several advanced degrees. But I’m also used to guys outside of work being intimidated by what I do.” When she was younger, she had gotten used to guys rejecting her as a possible girlfriend because they thought she was too serious, too scholarly, or too smart. Years ago, Sara’s mother told her, “If you want to find a husband, don’t be too smart.” Sara had discounted the advice as old fashioned, and anti-feminist.

Her previous long-term boyfriend not only did not seem bothered by her intelligence; he seemed to enjoy it.

They can be endlessly fascinating and even more frustrating. And yet you still say you want a man who is smarter than you are. Sounds like a pretty exhausting relationship, doesn’t it? It does mean that you need to accept men who are not in the 98th percentile of intelligence, and recognize that there are plenty of amazing, bright, relationship-oriented men who may not be smarter than you.

They have enough information and ammunition to be impossible to argue with. That does NOT mean that you are going to find yourself with a man who has never read a newspaper, who has no interest in foreign travel, or who can’t keep up with you and your friends.

The key to your future successful relationships is going to come in opening up to smart guys without all the baggage that comes from being brilliant and driven.

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