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Of course, before there was a baby, there was still laundry. But there were never so many things that had to be done so quickly.

You can't procrastinate about chores once you have an infant.

How had I failed to notice that he didn't know how to make a bed?

Or that he was such a Nervous Nellie he would have to line the floor with pillows before he'd lie on the couch with the baby?

"Tim is just much more laid-back than I am," says Tina."He gets on the floor and plays wherever our son happens to be, even if it means overturning the laundry basket. I'd come home to see Jake sleeping in the middle of a circle of toys on the living room floor at dinnertime!

"Tina, meanwhile, wanted to set up play stations rather than have toys strewn around the house, as well as make sure things were put back where they belonged to get Jake in the right habit. "We were resentful and snapping at each other all the time," she says.

"There was an incredible amount of tension," agrees Patrick. Ken Fine, dad to 18-month-old Henry in San Francisco, approaches the housework dilemma philosophically.

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