Instead of anticipating all of the fun we could have, I became preoccupied with all of the reasons why I didn’t deserve to go.
During the trip, against the back drop of the Rhine river in Germany and the grand plazas of Italy, I picked fights with my husband and let my mood swings suck every last drop of joy out of the experience.
Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker? Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and/or abusive? Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone? Do you often mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others? Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions? Do you think someone's drinking may have affected you?
Not different as in I had some amazing athletic ability or that I was blessed with a brand of intelligence that made me a shoo-in for Harvard but different in that I came from an alcoholic family that most people I knew couldn't relate to.
I'm a grateful member of Al-Anon, and would recommend attending a few meetings to see if you find it helpful. Do you still feel responsible for others, as you did for the problem drinker in your life? Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?