"Both said that this was a really common phenomenon: that dating sites have a notoriously low number of gay women, and that gay women are unlikely to flock to those services, ever." they exist, but even if you find one, the odds that she's your age and single and you connect with her on any romantic level at all are slim to none.
When a straight woman logs into Tinder, it's a totally different experience.
"On one hand, it's great that these girls have a venue in which to explore their sexuality safely, but on the other hand, I've learned a few times on first dates with women I met online that they've never been with a woman before," she says.
"This is not necessarily a problem, but sometimes it's hard to gauge if someone is feeling experimental versus being very much past that stage." A straight-identifying friend even told me she sometimes turns her Tinder to women-seeking-women to chat with women even though she'd "probably never do anything." Enough false-positive matches like that would turn anyone off.
Lauren O'Reilly, Director of Marketing at OKCupid, says that of their current 10 million active users, women seeking women only comprise 7 percent of that.
But the good news is that since the site expanded their gender and orientation options, they've seen a 7 percent rise in female LGBTQ users, suggesting that many women may have felt stifled by the need to identify as one gender or one sexuality, which could also be an issue when trying to get queer women on a lesbian-specific app.
Sure, straight-focused apps like Tinder and Bumble allow for same-sex swiping, but, for gay women especially, that often leads to matches who are just dabbling in same-sex hookups or are looking to plan a threesome for their boyfriend.